It’s the friends you can call at 4 am that matters. My friends are weird, that’s why I like them!Īs soon as I saw you I knew a grand adventure was about to happen. Happiness is having a bunch of freaking awesome and crazy friends. No one will ever be as entertained by us as us. Foes are like panties, deported, every now and then when they get dirty.įriendship is a simple recipe: 1 cup of caring, 1 cup of sharing, 2 cups of insanity.Įveryone has a friend who is a walking party. In the cookie of life, friends are the chocolate chips.įriends are like bras, attached near your heart for support. You know it’s a great friend when they start to open your fridge without asking! If you hurt my friend I can make your death look like an accident. Life was meant for good friends and great adventures.
They say don’t try this at home…so I went to my friends home! Just remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English. I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship. The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest. If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. Today, I will be as useless as the letter ‘g’ in the word ‘lasagna’. I barely take suggestions.īRB = I don’t want to talk to you. Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.Ĭan I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters. God is really creative, I mean just look at me. Warning – You might fall in love with me. It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
Perfect fumy full#
In a world full of trends, I want to remain a classic. I am not feeling lazy actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing.Īlways remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. You never know what you have until you have cleaned your house. If I ever let my head down, it will be just to admire my shoes. What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram. There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking. Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror. I`m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs. How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday. I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things. I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
When Jessica Biel becomes pregnant, I hope she names her child “Mo”. I’m actually not funny, I am just mean and people think I’m funny! Why be moody when you can shake yo booty?ĭrunk people, children, and leggings: They don’t lie. I like my coffee how I like myself: dark, bitter and way too hot for you!īe the kind of girl that makes other girls step up their game. but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! I know the voices in my head aren’t real…. I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it. This girl is on fire! No really, my muscles are burning from all the exercising I did. Life isn’t perfect, but your outfit can be. This is called a ‘selfie’ because ‘narcissistic’ is too hard to spell. My childhood punishments have become my adult goals. Wanna know what else is bigger than my smile? My heart. I know that looks aren’t everything, but I have them just in case. May your day be as good as taking a selfie in the first try. I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box… I don’t even know where the box is. I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!Ĭheck This : 150+ Funny Status & CaptionsĪ cop pulled me over and told me “Papers”, so I said “Scissors, I win!” and drove off.īrains are awesome. If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.ĭear Lord, there is a bug in your software… it’s called Monday, please fix it. Yet…I wouldn’t call them lies!ĭon’t be ashamed of who you are.
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie.
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